Monday, January 19, 2009

Myron Eulogies (written years ago)

Wacko Brother -via email-

Myron, you have really done it now. Your obituary huh!! We you had better
buy a big tombstone because people are going to have a lot to say. Or are
you going to be cremated with your ashes spread across the bike ride across
Kansas route? I have been thinking of things to put on your Obit page.
How about, He Came He Saw, He Slept!! Or maybe "Work is contagious but I
never get sick". I am going to make up all original ones here. Who knows
maybe when you get them all in your book you will have best seller!!

Dale Holter (older brother) |Brother Dale's email|
(no home page yet)

MB reply: -from heaven-:
Thanks for writing in my Eulogy section
brother Dale. I will cherish these words now on the internet forever !!!!
I had never really thought of having my ashes spread out throughout
Kansas, but that's a good idea. There is a problem though, the plot has
been paid (WestLawn Cemetery) and I want to get my monies worth. Now what do I do ???
Guess maybe I will write what to do in my future book.

The Master(dead)Biker ...
replying from the pearly gates through the internet...Myron D. Holter....

The Day Myron Died: by Bryce Holter,

The day that Myron Holter Died, Rodney Dangerfield lost a relative. Rodney
got all of Myron old suits back except the one that he was wearing, you
know the blue plaid one that he should future in the internet home page. I
think you still own that Plaid suit, don't you.
Myron home page is still being view for all the world to view. On his
obituary it reads, Myron Holter: Born a great Norski, and want to be Master
Biker,Just kidding. His family was in sorrow following that 1973 pickup to
the place of rest. They felt sorry for the old pickup, so they barried the
pickup. HA HA. I am writing just for fun.
The guest speakers at that funeral, were Rodney Dangerfield, Fred Stanford
Myron's role model,and Al Bundy. Rodney said, "Myron got no respect."
Fred said,"Where is the free meal!" and Al Bundy said, "Why couldn't it
have been Peg!"
In the ground,Myron, Is still alive, in very ones heart and on the
internet. His ghost is still through e-Mail, so all of his relatives can read his e-mail.
Bryce (Albert) Holter is my nephew, Ronny & Anitra's son

MB reply -from heaven-:

Thanks for remembering me in my great momentius moment in meeting
up with Jesus. So let me explain something, I really miss my plaid suit, worn
to many nephews and nieces weddings before my sister sister-in-law wrote from England not
to wear that suit anymore. Sally had to finally throw it away.
Tears flowed freely on that emotional day.
Rodney and I are good buddies
Actually I've been told I'm like Robin Williams, but what can I say...
I'm in heaven writing to you through the internet. Maybe there's a combination of all those
comedians you mentioned above.
After the 1973 Ford Truck delivers my body to WestLawn, I want it delivered to Breakthrough
House here in Topeka, burying it with me is too extravagent...........MB (reporting from heaven).....

Lets face it, we got a wierd brother here. But lets be honest, I bet we have
all wondered what might be said about us at our departure from this world.
But only brother Myron would ask for it to be told now!

I believe this all started back when he stuck his finger in that electrical
socket of the lamp, while he and I were playing in the dirt crawl space
beside the basement steps. I remember the howling and screaming as he could not get
his finger out. I had to run away from fear of what was happening, as I knew
even at my young age this was not a good thing to be doing. I do beleive now
,looking back, that at this time his brain was short circuited and he wasn't
normal ever since.

His wife of many years, Sally, must have been a saint to put up with all his
wackiness. I can remember growing up with him that I couldn't imagine any
girl being interested in him. I think that is a normal feeling sisters have
for brothers. I always thought he was a dork. I guess Sally didn't think
so, as they were happily married for so many years. Quite an accomplishment for
the 90's, don't you think?

Sally thought he was a hunk! His sister thought he was a dork. Guess that
made my brother Myron a hunky dorky!

We came of age in the 60's and I don't remember the word nerd being used back
then. This is written in 1997 and nerd would be the relevant word for now.
Myron even referred to himself as a nerd. I didn't know what a PNN was and
had to ask him once. He told me he was called a postal puter nerd at work.
This is because it was his job to sit at a computer all day. Then he would
come home to his personal computer and think of wacky stuff to put on his
home page. I do beleive he was suffering from cyber pseudo psychosis. A cure has
>not been found to this day. He died being a nerd and proud of it.

Everyone liked him as he didn't have a mean bone in his body. And I forgave
him for being a ditto head, politics was just never my thing.

He always signed off his WEB page by saying he was happy to meet up with
Jesus someday. And I beleive he did just that. We are told heaven is a happy
place and I can see him sitting at the big computer in the sky being a heavenly
hunky dorky nerd!! See ya there cyberbromy.

Cybersis#2 (Julie)
(Julie is my baby sister)

MB's Reply (from the Pearly gates)

Thanks sis for your kind remarks .. by the way, our DAD (Adoph) sends you his love.
I had forgotten about almost being electrocuted when I was about 6 or 7.
Why did you run off, didn't you know that your model brother, the future
nerd was in getting short circuited !!!!???? I vaguely remember that incident.
Did you cry for help or where you cowering in the corner somewhere. Maybe
it was a blessing in disguise.... I've become a short circuited hunky dorky

Stay tuned for some more analagy of our childhood, but first St. Peter wants
me to collect ALL the jokes coming from ALL over on the internet.

This is to Brother Dale.... do you suppose you could set me up with a wireless
email connection address??? like maybe, then
then I'll be all set up for the internet forever....
Who says you can't take it with you!!

(My future daughter-in-law ??)

Myron Holter...A man loved by all. Definately Misunderstood. A nerd at times
but an all around nice guy. Myron died at age of 65 at wife Sally's Xmas party
dancing on a table after one to many cups of coffee. He was just getting ready
to retire from the USPS after many years of slacking off with them. Sally is
ready to collect the insurance and go on a teddy bear shopping spree. Funeral
Services will be held at Memorial Park Cemetry..Just look for the Green truck.
Myron took pride in that truck, Last words were prepare my truck Sally.
Myron is survived by a large family. Sally his wife of many years, Two sons,
John and his wife Suzanne and their two childrens Wetsy and Betsy. Mark the
younger brother, wife Anita, and their 8 children. Peter, Paul, Mary, Mariah,
Micheal, David, Bart, and Jordan. He also is survived by his large internet
family. His web page was famous. Brothers and sisters are as follows, Wes,
Dale, Julie, and Depha, (sure hope I got all those right with no help).
Nephews Lance and Kylin Holter will be the designated driver. Dont know if
Kylin can handle that one. Heard he is a crazy driver. Max will sit on the end
of the truck and holds the sign....."Here lays the Master Biker".

MB'S reply:
(reporting back from heaven)
Thanks my lovely daughter for carrying on the Myron Holter's name !!!!
(Wetsy and Betsy)... My question is "Is Wetsy a boy or girl???"
Perhaps Wetsy could be a future pallbearer (If it's a boy)

I plan on putting up for bids on the internet the driver of my hearse,
the 1973 Ford Truck. I like Max riding shotgun though....

BYE BYE gotta go, St. Peter's got a golf game up, and I'm trying to show
DAD how to grip the club correctly.... Oh by the way... you guys can have
the SPA....

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