Saturday, December 20, 2008

Myron's Obituary

12/20/2008 6:10:49 AM

MYRON’S OBITUARY:

Dear Journal:

I am going to write still another version of my own demise. I will write it as if I’m all ready in heaven, IE, the 3rd person. I remember writing my first obituary back home on the farm,. SO here goes, another version, Read it and weep.

Myron D. Holter, 63, died at 6th & Gage, Topeka KS while feeding the geese. His beloved Sal and BIG “M” # 2 son were opening presents at his #1 prodigal son , John, and his paranoid daughter-in-law, Kim. From receiving reports from Madeline’s text message, she reportedly received so many presents, she did not know what to do.

The death report on Myron’s report read something like this. While the “FAM” was opening gifts on Dec 2008, Myron was attempting to photograph the geese. He brought his camera and his beloved Charlie. While he was excitedly filming the geese, a certain angry over protective mother goose (like Kim) did not want Myron and Charlie’s presence known. This goose started yelling and screaming at Myron & Charlie (our dog) for taking pictures of her goslings. They were so fun. These little geese were following her mother around, looking so pretty.. The father was especially proud and willing to be photographed. But the mother goose was paranoid and hatefully eyed Myron and Charlie. After some time, the female goose glared at the intruders so much that the fear was too much. Myron died on the spot from fear. The photos can be found on the web.

SAL: I love you very much. I have always loved you. You have accepted me just as I am. Thank you! You understand my humor and me. You have complete TRUST in me and I the same. Remember, I’m in heaven writing this. The weather is fine. I want you and Mark to enjoy your short time together with #1 prodigal son. Who knows, there might even be a photo or two taken. I’ll write more about our relationship later.

MARK: You’re BIG “M” , except on Sunday afternoon, remember? Thanks you for being our caregiver someday. OH WAIT, That’s right now, I’m in heaven. Have your brother help you move in with your mother, ok? The last will and testimony is in a QVC vanilla envelope for you and John. Hopefully you’ve remembered to give John his copy. The upstairs city barn can be your private quarters. I’m sorry your DAD is not the best construction worker in the world, but it’s livable up there. Invite your friends over and laugh and laugh together. I’m in heaven and will be listening in also, laughing and laughing with you, OK? OK!

Also, remember to thank John for being your payee. He’s a fine brother.

JOHN: what can I say? Thank you for being a wonderful father to Madeline and a caring loving husband. Also, thank you for looking out for your brother, your only brother. Mark looks up to you. I love you son, I’ve always loved you. I have wanted only the best for you in all you’re life’s pursuits. I loved you when you were sick and in the psych ward at Stormont. I loved you when you were doing schizophrenic actions in 1991. I loved you when you took an hour long shower trying to get better.. I loved you when I had to grasp you and take you to the hospital. I loved you when you walked all the way downtown and was hallucinating about John Brown’s painting. The capital police thankfully approached you. I loved you enough to pick you up while in custody. I loved you enough to visit your frat house and see the life style you were leading. Eventually, you had to drop out of college and I we loved you so much that Sally and I loved you with open arms to live with us again. I loved you so much that I visited with the Topeka police to keep you from being arrested while you were peeking in neighbor’s windows. My neighbors Marty (just died btw) and Linda Beard BEGGED me to get you medical attention. If I would NOT have loved you son, I would have ignored all these requests for help. I LOVE YOU JOHN. I just don’t like you for NOT allowing me to see my only grand child. Kim has nothing to do with it. You need to find a backbone son and tell Kim that you want your father to have a loving caring relationship again. You’re #1 on my bucket list as posted on our web. These and other stories were all written sometime in the past. I don’t have a clue where the stories about your behavior in 1991 are located. I was a computer systems operator for the Post office back then, and I’m sure with enough digging, I can find the original media file. It’s probably on a floppy diskette somewhere. You have my permission (remember I’m in heaven) to find the original version when you were 21 years of age.

I will now post this to my public blog for ALL to read. My life is an open book and I’ll write more later.

myron@myownfaith2.com

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